10 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Defeated Or Discouraged

Feeling Defeated In Life

Every single person has had a moment in life where they feel defeated completely. There gets to be a point where nothing seems to be going right, things get overwhelming, and you don’t even want to wake up in the morning because you don’t see the point. These moments may seem like the end, and in some cases, it can get to be so bad that it does turn into the end. Don’t let this happen to you. When you are feeling defeated, take a breath and follow these 10 steps to stop those awful feelings.

1. Fake Positivity

Woman faking a smile

Sometimes you just need to fake it until you make it. Even if you are feeling defeated, you still need to try to be as positive as possible. Keep a smile on your face and do your best to get through the day. Hopefully, with time, the fake positivity will turn into real positivity, and you won’t feel as defeated any more. Even if it doesn’t truly work, it will teach you how to do the things you need to do and interact with people, despite your feelings.

2. Do Things You Like

When you’re feeling defeated, you may need to take some time out to enjoy yourself. Once your responsibilities are handled, take a night out to do something specifically for you. You can go out and do something adventurous, or you can stay in with your favorite foods and movies. The point is to decompress and take your mind off of your troubles.

The point is to decompress and take your mind off of your troubles

A distraction can be the perfect thing to get you into a better spot emotionally. Of course, it’s important to remember that you need to take a time out when your duties are completed. You also don’t want to use alcohol or drugs as an escape. That will only make things worse.

3. Tackle Your Problems Directly

Man in a shirt saying 'burn your problems'

When you feel defeated, it can be easy to try to escape. Your problems can put a massive weight on your shoulders and get rid of that weight for a while can make you feel so much lighter. However, escaping from your problems can only make them worse by the time you get back to them.

While some away time can be great once you’ve handled your business, the first thing to do is manage your problems. Some things may be out of your control. You need to focus on the things that you can control. Look at the things that are making you feel defeated. Some of the most common problems include finances, relationships, family, and personal insecurities. Do what you can to make them better.

4. Be Kind To Yourself

Many people are especially hard on themselves. This will only contribute to feeling defeated. When you notice your negative thoughts taking over, it’s time to start being a little more gentle on yourself. Remind yourself of all of your accomplishments and good qualities. While you may have made some mistakes in your life, there is undoubtedly plenty of things to be proud of. When your internal voice starts to say negative things about yourself, you need to force yourself to think differently actively.

5. Small Steps are Okay

A grounded step

Some people feel defeated because they aren’t making the strides they expected to make at a specific point in life. It’s okay not to be as far as you’d like to be as long as you take small steps in the right direction. Even if you’ve taken a couple of steps back or plateaued recently, just think of all of the advancement you have made in your life. You’ve made advancements before, and you can do it again. Start today. Take at least one small step in the right direction and just keep going with those small steps. If you are consistent, you will find yourself in a much better place before you know it. You won’t have those same feelings, either.

6. Remember Life is a Gift

While some days are a challenge, it’s important to know that life is a gift. You should be grateful for every chance you have to enjoy this earth we live on. NO matter how bad things are, it can always be worse. You may not even have had the opportunity to enjoy the things you’ve gotten in life so far. If you look at life as a blessing, those defeated feelings will start to go away.

It’s important to know that life is a gift

To remember that life is a gift, you can make a list of all of the wonderful things you have. Even if you don’t have much, you can find things to be grateful for. Maybe you are thankful for working eyes and legs, lights in your home, a bed to sleep in, and family members who care about you. When you start to make your list, you may have more to be grateful for than you realized. Never think that no one cares about you.

7. You Can Make Changes

No matter what you’ve done to make yourself feel defeated, there are always things you can do to fix your current situation and make yourself feel better. Take action immediately. If you can’t take action about a specific problem (such as a lost job or failed relationship), use the lessons you learned from your failure to make changes for the next stage in your life. You need to actively take steps to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes in the future. It’s important to remember that life goes on. That’s not to say that there won’t be severe consequences and even relationships you can’t get back. However, you need to take these loses as a learning lesson. They are not the end of the world. Take the situation for what it is, and move forward with the knowledge you gained from the situation.

8. Focus on Your Strengths

Boy showing of his strength

Sometimes one singular failure or aspect of ourselves can make us feel downright awful. It’s important to remember that even if we fail in one thing orspecific area, we are complete human beings. We may be successful in another area. Think about all of the things you are good at and all of the things you do bring to the table. If you have to, write a list. Sometimes, seeing it written out can make your good qualities even more apparent. If you really can’t think of anything, ask for help from your friends and family members. They are our not have plenty of good things to say about you. At the very least, they’ll be good for a laugh.

9. Do Some Good in the World

Feeling defeated can be tied to feelings of unworthiness. To help combat those feelings, do what you can to make yourself worthy and useful. Look into doing charity or visiting family members you don’t see as often. You should try to make it a regular part of your life. Find an organization you feel strongly about and act as a volunteer about once a week or once a month.

Feeling defeated can be tied to feelings of unworthiness

It’s also important to spend time with family members who might need some companionship. While visiting them, you may even learn things about your family and life. Having that strong bond will help you create strong bonds with other people, too. You will feel better about yourself and see that there are some beautiful things in this world. Suddenly, you won’t feel defeated anymore. Your life will have a purpose.

10. You’re Not Alone

Friends accepting each other

While going through it, your moment of defeat may feel more devastating than anyone else has ever felt. The truth of the matter is that everyone goes through a feeling of defeat at some point in their lives and they feel that they are alone in this. The fact that other people have felt something similar won’t lessen your pain in itself, but it does offer something that can help. Some people have been through the same thing who might have advice for you. Find someone you trust and talk to them. Sometimes just letting your feelings out can make you feel so much better.

If you don’t feel like you can speak to any of your friends or family, there are hotlines and support groups available. If you need help, get it. Too many people who feel defeated make poor decisions to stop the feelings, and you can’t come back from some decisions. Call a psychologist if the feelings are getting overwhelming. If the feelings are even more serious, it might be time to check into a mental health facility. They will make sure that you are at the very least healthy on your journey to feeling better.


“Defeat doesn’t finish a man, quit does. A man is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits” – Richard M. Nixon Read

It’s okay to feel defeated. It’s a natural emotion that happens after the pressure of life hits a point of no return. When you are having these feelings, you need to take action. Use this as a learning opportunity. There are several things you can do to make yourself feel better. Life is too short to be miserable all of the time. Follow the tips in this article to hopefully get rid of those negative feelings that seem to be following you.

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Rebecca Temsen

Rebecca Temsen

Rebecca is an author, entrepreneur and most of all a wife and mother of 2. What she enjoys the most is helping normal people reach their full potential. Rebecca uses her ever growing skills in writing to inspire people and not settle for a normal life. As an entrepreneur, she has no shortage of failures and that is why Rebecca is the ideal person to talk about this.

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