The book How to Win Friends and Influence People was first released in 1936. Many successful and influential people like Warren Buffet swear by this book. How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-improvement one that is a best seller with over 15 million copies sold.
The principles written in this book by Dale Carnegie are timeless and continue to work decades after. If you are wondering whether to get the book, this summary will help you decide.
Part 1 – this part is called Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. This part outlines three principles that you can use to really give people what they want. It is only in giving people what they desire that you can be able to handle them with ease. In this chapter, you learn how to really appreciate people from the heart rather than just give them praises with the mouth.
The three principles covered in this part are;
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Arouse in the other person an eager want
By the end of this chapter, you will have the ability to get the person’s point of view. Only when you are able to see things from the other person’s perspective can you be able to offer what they want and make the other person happy while you also get what it is you want.
Part 2 – this part is called Six Ways to Make People Like You. After you have learnt how to handle people and offer their wants, it is time to make people like you. People will like you only when you agree with them, take time to know them and avoid hurting their ego through arguments and disagreements.
The book teaches how you can respect other people’s opinions and encourage others to talk about themselves. The six ways to make people like you in this part are;
- Become genuinely interested in other people
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
- Be a good listener – Encourage others to talk about themselves
- Talk concerning the other person’s interests
- Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
In this part, you will learn how you can make people feel important and be a good conversationalist by allowing them to talk, give their opinions and indicate what they want. You then become genuinely interested in other people by listening and talking in terms of their interests. Be sincere about it, and you will win people over and make them like you. That’s the secret to dealing with people.
Part 3 – this part of the book is called How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. The part outlines 12 principles you can use to achieve this. The principles discussed in part 3 are;
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “you’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
- Begin in a friendly way
- Get the other person saying yes, yes immediately
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
- Appeal to the Nobler motives
- Dramatize your ideas
- Throw down a challenge
To really get to influence people you have to win them to your way of thinking. If people do not appeal to the way you think, you will not be able to motivate them in any way. It is essential first to emphasize what you agree on with a person, so they say yes and not no at first.
This will make them agree with more of the things that you say later. When you dramatize your ideas, they will see them better and when you give them a challenge you can be sure they will enjoy taking it.
Part 4 – this last part of the book is called Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Offense or Arousing Resentment. People are always resistant to change. In the other parts of the book, you have learnt that it is not right to criticize people and you might not get the desired results when you do.
There are, however, instances where you must change people. To institute change in people you might have to criticize or advise them. This part of the book teaches you how to go about it. The principles discussed here are;
- Begin with Praise and Honest Appreciation
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- Let the other person save face
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be Hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
- Give the other person an excellent reputation to live up to
- Use encouragement – make the fault seem easy to correct
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
This part simply teaches you how to be a leader that many people will like and follow with ease.
What I Like about the Book
The principles indicated in the book are relatable and seem easy to understand. The book is apparent in how to achieve what is being taught. Besides, the principles follow a simple logical pattern from learning how to handle people to how you can be a great leader. The book is relevant to everyone who wants to relate better with people generally or even in their workplaces.
This book is not all about making friends, it is also about success. If you want a book that will get you up the ladder while at the same time enable you to be a great leader, Dale Carnegie’s how to win friends and influence people is it.
Why You Should Read This Book
This book is great because it is actionable. You can be able to put what you are reading into practice immediately. If you are looking for a self-improvement book that will help you change your life immediately, then this is it. This book is more than just about making friends.
It also teaches you how to attract people to your business and make more money by giving them what they want.
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