Life gives you blows when you least expect it. It’s similar to having a bad taste of lemon in your mouth. It feels bitter, unappealing, and a nuisance to what you deem as normal living. The emotional impact you get when you find yourself on a bad luck streak is daunting, to say the least. So of course, the domino effect occurs: When one thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong.
Change Is Good
When life brings you down, most people will tell you common phrases like “Hey, look on the bright side…” and go on to say to you what you should be thankful for in your life. They also start comparing you to worse situations. But in the end, often approaches like these make you feel worse.
When life is sucky, and you get a case of being “in the dumps.” It’s essential for you to go through a series of stages and steps to get back to a better place within yourself. The following phases and steps reflect these, giving you tips and methods on how to get yourself out of a slump.
Phase 1: Start Reflecting on Your Daily Thought Process
Let Yourself Feel the Pain
You have the right to feel bad every now and then. Try to recognize that whatever circumstances are making you feel down in your life, is justified and is valid. It could be many things, such as losing your job, or finding out that you have a severe illness. You may have received shocking bad news, or have been hit with a very troublesome financial difficulty. Whatever the case may be, you have a human right to complain and show your feelings. It’s not the worst thing you can do if you are being negative. In actuality, it is a healthy and essential response. It aids you in getting through the process of therapeutic healing, and getting your life back on track.
Take the Responsibility and Then Begin to Move On
The most essential thing that you can start doing is to comprehend the difference between blaming yourself and the action of taking responsibility. Whether or not you’ve made a negative decision and your downfall is your fault entirely, or even if you have no control or responsibility for why life became so morbid for you, it’s vital to have acceptance for what’s happened and to gain knowledge from it.
Punishing yourself is pointless. You need to start being accountable for the actions you take, and ponder about if you would act the exact way, given you had another chance, and as soon as you’ve made sense of everything, start on the process of moving on.
Start Independently Doing Things Just for Yourself
Another good way to soften the blow to your heart is to have tenderness and generosity to yourself. This is the time to spoil yourself, and by doing this in a healthy and straightforward little way. Just take a small break, and also a step back fro your life to collect your thoughts and to re-center yourself. Walking in nature, swimming in the ocean and a calm, relaxing bath to soothe your nerves are nice and inexpensive ways to make yourself relax.
Start focusing on both your physical and mental health. Start eating well and drinking a good amount of water. Doing exercise is a natural form of an antidepressant. Take the time to do the things you love and also spend time with valuable people that make you feel happy. Also make sure to accept yourself even when you’re angry or sad. Get it out of your body by talking or writing about it. Create music, or listen to music that expresses how you feel. These type of expressional techniques gives you the permission you need to reflect on your bad feelings, and discover the good ones.
Come to Terms With What Happened
Finally, focus on looking forward to your problem’s solutions. Find peace in the fact that moments pass regularly. These types of feelings don’t have to last for the rest of your life. Sometimes all you can do is literally wait for a situation to play out, especially if you are in a stage of grieving. The death of someone close, a relationship that has broken down, or any other kind of loss breaks your heart and turns you into feeling miserable.
Resisting your emotions or entombing them deep inside of you by opposing proper reflection of them is not healthy, and causes more damage in the future. If you immediately do the hard work, which can also be you just dealing with the pain, your healing will eventually come.
Realize That This Experience Will Make You Stronger
From your experiences, you will learn about life, and thus you will become stronger as a result. All people go through painful periods in life, some having more than other people and one of the only ways to grow is to tread through both the bad and the good. It’s easy to give yourself a hard time, and at the same time feel guilty about having the sad feelings of your life being very depressing, especially if you live a life of some privilege.
When you’re aware of what’s going on in this world or even aware of adverse situations happening to people that are in your life, it’s quite easy to feel guilty and that you’re not entitled to complain about your life. In some circumstances, thinking like this can take you out of this type of depression. So in the present, allow yourself to have some sad days, feel cranky, be grumpy about things and face your anxiety head-on. It could be the push you need to make the necessary life changes that will make you feel better.
Phase 2: Perform Practices to Help Lift Your Mood
Replace “Why?” with the question “What next?”
It’s only natural; When things start going awry, you get the phrase “Why me?” running through your head. Unfortunately, the “why me” question weakens your emotions. All it does is increase your thoughts of “victimhood,” and weakens us to feel powerless to do anything to fix our situation.
By being aware of when we start to have this kind of moment, the immediate step that you should take is to change that burdening phrase of “why me?” to “what next?” By doing this, not only do you gain a feeling of being back in control, but you are also leading yourself on the path to what you can do to fix this problem in your life. Slowly but surely, you will gain more resiliency and be able to handle possible similar plights like this in your future.
Make it a Necessary Habit to Practice Gratitude
It’s tough to feel blessed when a blow has been dealt on you, no matter how small or significant the shock might be. Regardless of whatever you’re dealing with, you can always find something you can be grateful for. Find what you can feel thankful for, and state these things a few times out loud. Your mind and heart will follow soon after.
Stop the Blame Game
When you’re hurting, it’s natural enough to find someone else to blame. However all blame does is extend the time of you hurting, making it harder to let go of these painful occurrences. It fuels our anger and damages us inside our bodies. It welcomes negativity in our life.
So the solution? Just stop.
If it is in the fates for something to be, it will happen no matter what. It is what it is, and you must accept what has happened and move on with your life.
Never Succumb to Despair and Fear
This action step is one of the toughest. It’s considerably easier just to surrender and give in to the grief and fear. However, we all have to stand tall, even if we feel shorter in our spirit. When there comes a time in your life when despair and fear are primary culprits, you have to take on the “fake it ‘till you make it” strategy. If you keep this up, in the long run, you will make it!
Don’t Give Up!
Regardless of what place you are in your life, or what you’re going through, you should never give up. Keep trying different solutions, and you’ll eventually find the right fit for you to get over the slump you’re in.
Phase 3: Perform Practices to Help Improve Your Mindset
Keeping a journal
An excellent way to detect the reasons why your feelings are so down is to figure out these strong feelings come about. Starting a journal will give you a platform to figure out which situational elements you do have total control over, which can help give you a positive boost. To conclude, you have to remember that you have no control over anything, except for your responses and actions.
Transform Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts
Make a genuine effort to check on your thoughts during different intervals throughout the day. Detect what your standard thought processes are when you think contrary ideas. Then try to put a positive spin on those thoughts. It’s also beneficial to make sure you’re surrounded by positive people daily, as people who are negative can drain you and increase your negativity and daily stress. Below are a few examples on how you can change your negative thoughts into positive ones:
- Instead of saying, “I’m so scared, this is my first time doing this,” change it to “This is a great opportunity for me to do something different!”
- Rather than saying, “I’ll never improve at this,” say instead, “Let me give it a go, one more time..”
- Instead of declaring, “This change is just too big in my life,” say instead, “This is an opportunity to try a new and exciting venture!”
Give Meditation a Try, Along with Repeating a Symbolic Mantra
Whether negative or positive, messages that are repetitive can have a massive effect on your psyche. Exchange the noise within with positivity through filling up your mind with thoughts of positivity. Pick a particular mantra that gives you the power to make it through the day. When you feel overwhelmed, repeat your mantra. Each time you repeat it, really think about what it means. Famous people and spiritual leads have many mantras you can look up and choose. See the works of Mahatma Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bob Marley, and Joan Baez for example.
Get Out There and Have a Social Life Again
Most of the time people that have the feeling of their life being sucky will alienate themselves from any form of healthy social contact. This can lead to an even deeper means of depression. You don’t have to rush into big social interactions, take baby steps to introduce yourself to social circles again. Below are some examples:
- Start calling loved ones and friends to catch up.
- Make a coffee date with a family member, or a friend.
- Try to take a class or join a club to meet new people.
- Make an effort to be more friendly with strangers that you encounter throughout your day. Don’t be shy and keep yourself away from small talk. Having conversations with strangers can be an energy boost!
Taking the steps explained are crucial and necessary to get the dark internal feelings that are keeping you down out of your system and psyche, so that you may once again enjoy a fulfilling life. Please take note; these steps are not simple, quick fixes to get you back on the path of positivity. You were hurt, and it takes time to heal. The primary key is taking “baby steps” to get yourself to a better place. Just taking these steps give you boosts that will get you by, and that slowly but surely will get you to the light at the end of the tunnel.