Some things are certain in life just like death and taxes. Failure is one of those things. However, the way you respond to failure determines how well you will pick yourself up and get your life back in order.
In his book Rising Strong, Brené Brown describes a process that you can use to rise back from failure. In this New York Times Bestseller, Brené Brown discusses a three-step process that you can implement in your life to rise strongly from failure.
With over 38million views on TED TALKS, her video on The Power of Vulnerability is amongst the most watched videos. This Rising Strong summary will look at the chapters of the book and some of the lessons you can get from the book.
The Physics of Vulnerability – many people view vulnerability as a weakness. Brené states that vulnerability is not winning or losing. Instead, it is showing up even when you have no control over the outcome. To really come up strong you must have courage. But “if we are brave enough often enough, we will fall.” This is the physics of vulnerability.
You have to be brave enough to know that you might not get the desired outcome yet you push on through. To be vulnerable, you must also stop caring what people think about you and stop getting hurt by their cruelty. If you think care so much about what people think you lose the courage to be vulnerable.
”We can choose courage, or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.
Civilization Stops at the Waterline – In this chapter, Brené discusses her three-step process to rising strong.
It first starts with reckoning. Here you get in touch with your emotions and get curious about what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. After you reckon what you are feeling, understand how the feelings are connected to your thoughts and behaviors.
The next part is rumbling. Rumbling means you get honest with the stories you make up about your struggles. It is in the rumble that wholeheartedness and real change begins. For instance, when you fail, you might make up the story that you are not good enough.
Rumbling gives you the chance to breakdown the stories digging deep into issues such as shame, blame, resentment, heartbreak and forgiveness all of which can change your view of things.
The process ends with the revolution. The revolution involves writing a new ending to the story. You change the way you engage with the world so that you are more positive and directed to success. The revolution changes all aspects of your life so the results of the change can be felt by your family, loved ones, organizations and communities.
Owning Our Stories – many people attempt to disown their failures so they can have more acceptable stories. However, to be whole, you must accept all the parts of your journey including the failures. Owning the story allows you to be able to write a new ending to it. If you deny the story, it defines who you are because you will have to spend your life denying.
The author presents a three-act framework that you can use to quickly be able to own your story and write a new ending to it.
The Reckoning – it is imperative that you are able to reckon with your emotions. When you reckon you get the emotional discomfort that pushes you to face your fears and be vulnerable. You become courageous and are able to rise strongly. Brené presents a way in which you can be ready to face your emotions by just recognizing that you are feeling something.
You do not need to download your emotions completely. You also have to cultivate emotional curiosity. Brené outlines in this chapter techniques you can use to reckon with your feelings and what to do about the emotions you have.
The Rumble – in this chapter, Brené presents the effective way to embrace the rumble. To become a person who rises strong then you must embrace the rumble. If you want to rumble effectively, then you should not confabulate. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable so you can own your story and therefore be able to change the ending.
Rumbling will help you to reclaim your lovability, divinity and creativity and ability. Without these, you will not have a sense of self-worth which is crucial in owning your story and rising up strong.
Sewer Rats and Scofflaws – this chapter is about rumbling with integrity, boundaries, and generosity. People are always doing the best that they can, and it is best to approach issues with that in mind. This means that you will not take things out on others and fail to focus on yourself. Always assume the best of other people.
The Brave and Brokenhearted – to rise strong, you have to be brave even when you will be brokenhearted. You cannot rise strongly when you are on the run. You, therefore, need to learn how to rumble with all the different emotions. You need to learn to rumble with expectations, disappointment, resentment, heartbreak, connection, grief, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy.
Easy Mark – connection exists only where there is giving and receiving. There is, therefore, need to give and the need to need. Many people think that asking for help is being weak. It is not being weak. It is growing a connection. You should attach value to giving help so that you also attach value to needing help.
When you judge the people you are giving help, you will also judge yourself when you need help. Without help, you might not be able to rise strongly.
Composting Failure – this chapter is about dealing with regret, perfectionism, fear, shame, blame, accountability, trust, and failure. It is essential to know when you are sinking and what is bringing you down and be able to deal with it. Brené explains how you can deal with all these emotions and feelings in this chapter so you can rumble effectively.
You Got to Dance with Them That Brung You – you need to have people in your life that can hold you to your standard. It is important to take criticism well and especially positive criticism that is aimed at pointing you in the right direction.
The Revolution – to see the revolution then you need to put the process into practice. This means that you have to put the rumble into practice each and every day to achieve the vision in mind. The practice is the hardest part of the journey and is what brings the revolution. Without practice, you can never see a revolutionary change in your life.
What I Like About the Book
I like that the book offers simple yet profound solutions to coming back strong. It is not all about how you could do it hypothetically. Rather, the book outlines three phases you can use to rise from your failures stronger and better prepared.
The book guides you on how you can investigate yourself to come up with creative solutions to your problems. Many times the cause of the failure is from within, and the book teaches you how to recognize that and change it.
Why You Should Read the Book
Rising Strong describes one of the most important aspects of life, failure. Without failure, there cannot be change, and without change, there cannot be progress. Failure can be the beginning of great things for you if only you know how to learn from it.
This book will help you to come back stronger after failure. You will learn how to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solutions.