Not everyone likes you. It’s a harsh reality. When people don’t like me, I begin to stress myself wondering what’s wrong with me. This article explains there may be a few things we need to tweak within ourselves to understand why we’re not the most popular person in town.
1. You Talk Too Much
We all have that friend that talks too much. We just nod until they stop talking. People like a conversation that goes back and forth. Even if someone is a good listener, they probably want to insert their opinion at some point. If you’re telling them all about your fabulous vacation, they want to tell you about the time they went to the same place. If you have to listen to someone ramble on for 15 minutes, your mind starts to wander. You aren’t someone’s therapist. They say the best conversationalist is actually a good listener. Why? Because they actually listen to your words, form something to say in their mind then say something that actually makes sense. Of course, they can only do this if you close your mouth to let them.
2. You’re Boring
There’s a fine line between being boring and talking too much. It’s tough to accept that you’re not that interesting. It doesn’t mean you’re boring, though. At times you might feel shy, and you might not feel you have anything to contribute to the conversation. To others, it might seem like you’re a boring person. If you just smile and nod, instead of people thinking you’re quiet, they may think you’re a boring person. Not many people are truly boring. There’s something at the root of everyone’s interests. Share those interests with people, voice your opinion, and laugh a little. People won’t think you’re so boring after all.
3. You’re A Know-It-All
I dislike like people that know everything. Get off your soapbox and join the rest of the world that doesn’t know everything. When people suffer from “belief superiority,” others feel beneath them. If you think you’re right about everything, people begin to run away from your opinions. I’ve always said people that care too much about one thing annoy me. The reality is that no one knows everything. You’re going to be wrong at some point. Not everyone shares the same opinion as everyone else, so being a know-it-all only gets you so far in life. Others begin to roll their eyes that you’re on your soapbox again, spouting your knowledge. Just be reasonable and understand, sometimes you can be wrong.
4. You’re You
Sometimes there’s no reason someone does not like you other than the fact they do not like you. They cannot pinpoint the reason. This is the same reason some people heat up a room with chemistry while others will not get along at all. It’s all about different personalities. Sometimes opposites attract while other times opposites cannot be in the same room. If someone doesn’t like you for any real reason, that’s they’re issue. In this case, be yourself, move along and just accept it.
5. You’re Too Needy
You’re not a prince or a princess that everyone wants to save. If others feel they’re always coming to your rescue, they’re going to start coming up with excuses all too soon. The constant phone calls, text messages, and direct messages drive others up the wall. Needy people walk around thinking everyone is going to leave them, so they have to bombard them with their stories so they won’t walk out. In reality, people can only take so much until they’re forced out the door. Needy people have to open their doors to others. They have to realize other people are in distress at times as well. Everyone needs somebody sometimes. It’s all about finding the balance in friendships when you need someone else or vice versa.
6. You’re A Humblebragger
Humblebragging is a big thing. This is when you brag, but you wouldn’t want it to sound like bragging. You’re showing off, but you make it sound like you’re eating a piece of humble pie. You just posted that photo of your brand new custom-built home. The caption talked about how it is so difficult to keep clean since it’s so big. You think “life is about me.” No one feels sorry for you. No one cares that your new 4-karat diamond ring keeps getting stuck in your hair as you pull it into a ponytail. Many people see humble-bragging as a way to throw it in someone else’s face that you’re better than them.
7. You’re A Show-Off
It doesn’t matter if you’re rolling in your money every night before bed, bragging about yourself is poor etiquette. Everyone seems to love a humble that doesn’t boast about their belongings or successes. Most people are fighting their own battles, and some people are just making it day to day. They don’t want to hear about your perfect life. You might not even realize you’re doing this. Social media makes it easy to post a seemingly boastful life. Your smiling children in their gorgeous clothes, your expensive dinner date, or your new car might just be sharing to you, but boasting to others. People aren’t impressed that you go on exotic vacations all of the time. They’re impressed when you sit down and want to hear about their holidays instead. It can be tough in a world where we want to be the best, but it’ll make you more likable if you refrain from bragging about your life.
8. You’re Not Nice
Remember the movie “Mean Girls?” The girls ruled the school by being mean. No one really liked them, but everyone feared them. Mean people just aren’t popular. This is why most people in the political world work so hard to be liked because popularity wins votes. Sometimes you may think you’re joking, but others do not understand that type of personality. Sometimes jokes have just enough truth to them to offend others. Sometimes you’re just in a crappy mood, so you come off as mean. If you don’t say hello to your co-workers each morning or wave at a friend as they drive by, some people get offended by these little things. It is not hard to be kind. Even if you’re in a bad mood, put on a pleasant smile and wave hello at others.
9. You’re Too Nice
There’s a happy medium between being mean and just being too nice. “Too nice” often comes off as fake and/or weak. When someone is too nice, they usually never take a side to please everyone. Pleasing everyone often leads to you being unhappy in the end. Sure, you do not offend anyone, but you also don’t take a stand for yourself. People start to notice you are not respecting yourself. They also think you might be really fake instead of really nice. Sometimes nice people are just nice. Sometimes nice people are just fake. Once they don’t get their way, the true colors come out. How can others know which one you truly are?
10. You Like To Complain
Complaining is never positive. People enjoy being around positive people. Of course, even positive people have bad days and complain about not feeling well or that their world isn’t that great that day. There are millions of people living through horrible things. Those people chose how they’re going to deal with those things. Some choose to be positive, while others prefer to complain about every little thing. People don’t like to be around others that always find the negative in everything. Others are empathetic and want to fix your world. If your world always needs fixing, others start to back away from you. They do not want to feel blue all of the time. Always complaining leaves others with a sense of sadness and helplessness that they cannot fix your problems.
11. You Dislike Yourself
The most important person that needs to like you is yourself. If you dislike yourself, others might do the same. Projection about one’s self is when you feel a certain way, so you assume others must feel that same way. If you think you’re boring, you may think others feel that way. Disliking yourself means the person that doesn’t like you is always with you. It’s harmful to one’s psyche. You must find things about yourself that you love. Even if it’s little, you need to build on these things daily. Once you like yourself, you’ll be more positive and ready to attack the world. Your positive energy will naturally pull people towards you instead of away with that negative energy.
12. You Gossip Too Much
Gossip seems fun until you’re the subject of that gossip. If you go around gossiping behind everyone else’s back, people are going to realize soon you’ll do the same about them. Even if you think you’re innocently gossiping, it can be very personal to other individuals. They may feel you’ve crossed a line with their trust. Gossip almost always gets back to the person. They don’t usually enjoy people talking about them. It’s always best to speak to the person about the issue before you spread rumours about them.
13. You’re Selfish
Everyone is selfish at times. People don’t like it when you are selfish at all times. If you only do things that help you, you’re selfish. If you continuously turn the conversation back to yourself, others may see you as selfish. People love to talk about themselves. It’s crucial you give them this opportunity at times. It’s essential to do things for others. If people always seem to be doing something for you with nothing in return, it’s a selfish motive on your behalf. You can get away with it for a while, but others will begin to shy away from a selfish person.
14. You Have No Balance
Hiding your crazy is important to other people. Everyone has their issues, but it becomes a problem when your drama is there all of the time. If you throw a scene around everywhere you go, people start to run for the door. It’s all about having balance. Sometimes people are dramatic. You have to learn to understand there’s a happy medium in there. People enjoy being around someone calm and collected about most things in their life. They’ll know things are insane if a calm, collected person loses their cool.
15. You Have No Loyalty
If your word means nothing, others might see it as you have no loyalty. If you promise to take your friend for a celebration dinner but never follow through, they lose faith in you. If you swear you’ll send your friend the photos you took of them, but never send those photos, they lose trust in you. Others need to believe in their friends’ words to believe in their loyalty. A flaky friend is just that, a flake. People expect you to do what you say. They don’t want to make you swear on your mother’s grave that you’re going to do something to make sure you actually do it. Treat your words as a promise at all times. If you do not think you’re ever going to do something, don’t say it.
16. You’re Too Competitive
People are too competitive for many different reasons. You might have low self-esteem, or you might have this drive to be the best at all times because society says that’s what you must do to thrive. Many people can’t stand a person that’s always trying to win everything. From the company chili cook-off to the “winner” for the best-looking suit at the holiday party, some people want to be the best at every little thing. This begins to grate on others over time. A person that is too competitive often comes off as being boastful and annoying. You don’t have to win at all times. Sometimes it’s just natural you are not going to win. Everyone must have a win sometimes. A healthy competitive person loves the feel of winning but lets it go when they know it’s time for another to win.
17. You’re Judgemental
Judging others isn’t nice. No one wants to stand in front of you, knowing that you’re thinking about all the bad things you can think about them. Each person has the mind and control to make their own decisions. We can only control ourselves. Even if they’re totally in the wrong, they can figure that out on their own without your thoughts. We need to learn to support others without judgment and just let it go. It’s not our job to tell others how they should live their life. That’s a tough lesson.
In the end, sometimes people won’t like you. There’s nothing you can do about it. Changing one’s personality is almost impossible, but you can change the way you act. You can change little things that will make others like you more. Sometimes no matter what you do, others won’t like you, but what matters the most is that you like yourself.